I've been thinking a lot on the Catholic perspectives on happiness and suffering lately but I am not completely certain they align with the dogma. Take this post with a grain of salt, as the Catholic faith in general expects us to be more than human, and indeed their utopia is not possible on this earth, at least until the second coming when most of us are done away with. I have compiled this thought process from all I have taken in through growing up in a strict Catholic environment.
It starts with this basic thought, one that most non-sadistic people in the world have had, that "everyone would be happy and not suffering." Sounds great right? Wow, I have compassion and feelings, I don't want others to be in pain! Whoopdidoo. Its a great feeling and belief, and I hope everyone has it, but there is another ingredient that is often forgotten or unknown, and without acknowledging it, one may actually be missing an important facet of understanding existence itself according to Christianity.
Basically, God wants us to be in Heaven.... yet, we must suffer to get there! Why?.. because otherwise we wouldn't have achieved anything or have anything to appreciate. If bliss was all we knew, it would not be bliss... it would be normal. If we began as gods, we would not be gods. You may be confused. I agree, this is not an easy matter to understand.
Since humans must suffer to reach Heaven, then should we desire them to suffer? No... but we should acknowledge it is an essential step in one's spiritual journey and pray for them. Through only suffering can one become greater than before. There are many lessons to be learned through suffering, and very few through happiness.
To desire happiness is a basic human instinct. To escape suffering is also a basic human instinct. Yet, humans are animals. God wants us to be more than animals. We must deny our instincts, we must take the path of greatest resistance, we must defy nature itself. This lesson applies to many sins, and a great example would be controlling the natural sexual urge. We must be more than bonobos, as fun as being a bonobo sounds. Get it?
I feel like this is pretty spot on teaching of the Catholic faith. But I fail as a human according to these standards. Even though I understand the aforementioned teachings, as well as the laws of morality, I cannot get myself to practice them to the extent necessary to achieve eternal life according to the Christian standard. I am just a human, an animal, nothing more, and perhaps I may never be.
Please correct me if I am wrong.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Fall!
Somersworth had its annual Pumpkin festival today so Christine and I went for a while and took a ride with the horses and watched people smash pumpkins with a giant catapult. Pretty fun and different! The temperature is perfect today and tomorrow we plan to go hiking in the White Mountains to make sunday not feel like a sunday. Here are some pictures of the scenery.
Notice anything on Christine? The last three are of the cemetery in our yard. There's some abandoned building with a creepy Mary altar outside it. I love how the trees have grown into some of the graves.
Christine and I are hard at work preparing to record the full-length Bone Fragments cd in early November. We are extremely excited about it and the current atmosphere is a good match for the music. Today may be good lyric writing day...
Sunday, October 4, 2009
My favorite 10 Black Sabbath Songs
The band that opened the gateway for me. Their debut was the first metal album I ever acquired, and naturally it was on cassette. I think my picks are a tad untraditional, but Sabbath is one of those great bands where you must delve past the greatest hits and best known to find the gems.
10. Behind the Wall of Sleep
9. Killing Yourself to Live
8. Hand of Doom
7. Cornucopia
6. After Forever
5. The Wizard
4. Megalomania
3. Thrill of it All
2. Black Sabbath
1. The Writ
10. Behind the Wall of Sleep
9. Killing Yourself to Live
8. Hand of Doom
7. Cornucopia
6. After Forever
5. The Wizard
4. Megalomania
3. Thrill of it All
2. Black Sabbath
1. The Writ
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My 20 Favorite Black Metal Songs (in order)
I was pretty excited about making this list, and even though I'm sure I will want to alter it, this is as accurate as I can be presently. This list is strictly black metal, no fringe bands (Bethlehem, Katatonia, etc.) are included.
20. Graveland - In the Northern Carpathians
A cheesy yet entertaining intro full church bells and crying babies begins this epic. Solid, raw, and classic, very atmospheric. 1994. Poland.
19. Velvet Cacoon - Avalon Polo
Publicity stunts aside, Velvet Cacoon created some serious atmospheric drone on Genevieve, and this track takes the cake for me. 2004. USA.
18. Summoning - The Rotting Horse on the Deadly Ground
My favorite by Summoning, total Tolkien worship, but great melodies abound. 1999. Austria.
17. Gorgorth - Gorgoroth
The intro is what makes this song so great. Layer upon layer of harmonized guitar trem-picked goodness. 1996. Norway.
16. Dimmu Borgir - Stormblast
Before they got terrible, Dimmu Borgir released an atmospheric masterpiece with the outro of this particular song being the climax. 1996. Norway.
15. Cradle of Filth - A Gothic Romance (Red Roses for the Devil's Whore)
Before you decide this list has lost all credibility, put your bias against this band aside and listen to this. Vampyric atmosphere at its best. 1996. England.
14. Walknut - Grim Woods
Not very well known. Atmospheric, hypnotic. 2007. Russia.
13. Ulver - Capitel II: Soelen gaaer bag aase need
Everything about this song is pretty much perfect, especially the chorus section with the clean vocals. 1995. Norway.
12. Blut Aus Nord - From Hlidskjalf
Icy and otherworldly. 1995. France.
11. Satyricon - King of the Shadowthrone
I could have just as easily picked Dominions of Satyricon, but decided on this one instead. Classic 2nd wave from Norway. 1994.
10. Darkthrone - A Blaze in the Northern Sky
The aggression to this album is insane, and something appalling was brewing within these guys back in the day. 1992. Norway.
9. Forest Silence - I Feel the Claws of Darkness
The least well known on this list (shame). Thick synth-laden atmosphere with razor riffage. 2002. Hungary.
8. Drudkh - The Eternal Turn of the Wheel
Many would pick False Dawn instead, but I prefer this one. Hypnotic and repetitive with brilliant harmonized riffs, just how I like it. Too bad this band only has 2 solid albums before becoming mediocre. 2002. Ukraine.
7. Vlad Tepes - Under the Carpathian Yoke
The definition of kvlt. Absolutely insane in a great way. 1995. France.
6. Nokturnal Mortum - Kolyada
Essential listening, especially the 2nd half. Folky goodness. 1997. Ukraine.
5. Windir - Saknet
Valfar (R.I.P.) was a true composer. Saknet is his finest work. 1999. Norway.
4. Nokturnal Mortum (again) Tears of Paganism/Lunar Poetry
Pure atmospheric aggressive black metal at its absolute finest. The horrible sound quality just adds to the fun. 1996. Ukraine.
3. Paysage d'Hiver - Der Weg
Listen to believe. The only black metal album as a whole that can compete with Burzum's Hvis Lyset tar Oss. Summed up best from some dude at surrealdocuments.blogspot.com
"The music of Paysage D'Hiver is used as a monomanic, minimalist musical mantra. This mantra is supposed to help the listener to visualize Alpine winter landscapes, and to experience this landscape as sublime, an aesthetic emotion of simultaneous attraction and fear, an emotion which finds its origin in Romanticism. Listening to Paysage D'Hiver is a phantasmatic practice."
2000. Switzerland.
2. Xasthur - In the Hate of Battle
The first Xasthur song I ever heard, and still by a landslide my favorite. I rarely listen to this (once every 2-3 years) to savor it all the more when I do. Depressive black metal at its best.
2002. USA.
1. Burzum - Det Some En Gang Var
No surprise here. Det Som En Gang Var will probably will be the best black metal song ever recorded, past and future. 1994. Norway.
A few notes:
For someone just entering the black metal world, many of these songs, particularly the depressive and minimalist ones, will seem like no big thing. They take many many listens to appreciate fully.
Also, no Emperor, Immortal, Mayhem, or Enslaved made the list, which even surprised me.
You probably think I'm a big nerd now, but I think you are missing out on some of the best music ever recorded.
20. Graveland - In the Northern Carpathians
A cheesy yet entertaining intro full church bells and crying babies begins this epic. Solid, raw, and classic, very atmospheric. 1994. Poland.
19. Velvet Cacoon - Avalon Polo
Publicity stunts aside, Velvet Cacoon created some serious atmospheric drone on Genevieve, and this track takes the cake for me. 2004. USA.
18. Summoning - The Rotting Horse on the Deadly Ground
My favorite by Summoning, total Tolkien worship, but great melodies abound. 1999. Austria.
17. Gorgorth - Gorgoroth
The intro is what makes this song so great. Layer upon layer of harmonized guitar trem-picked goodness. 1996. Norway.
16. Dimmu Borgir - Stormblast
Before they got terrible, Dimmu Borgir released an atmospheric masterpiece with the outro of this particular song being the climax. 1996. Norway.
15. Cradle of Filth - A Gothic Romance (Red Roses for the Devil's Whore)
Before you decide this list has lost all credibility, put your bias against this band aside and listen to this. Vampyric atmosphere at its best. 1996. England.
14. Walknut - Grim Woods
Not very well known. Atmospheric, hypnotic. 2007. Russia.
13. Ulver - Capitel II: Soelen gaaer bag aase need
Everything about this song is pretty much perfect, especially the chorus section with the clean vocals. 1995. Norway.
12. Blut Aus Nord - From Hlidskjalf
Icy and otherworldly. 1995. France.
11. Satyricon - King of the Shadowthrone
I could have just as easily picked Dominions of Satyricon, but decided on this one instead. Classic 2nd wave from Norway. 1994.
10. Darkthrone - A Blaze in the Northern Sky
The aggression to this album is insane, and something appalling was brewing within these guys back in the day. 1992. Norway.
9. Forest Silence - I Feel the Claws of Darkness
The least well known on this list (shame). Thick synth-laden atmosphere with razor riffage. 2002. Hungary.
8. Drudkh - The Eternal Turn of the Wheel
Many would pick False Dawn instead, but I prefer this one. Hypnotic and repetitive with brilliant harmonized riffs, just how I like it. Too bad this band only has 2 solid albums before becoming mediocre. 2002. Ukraine.
7. Vlad Tepes - Under the Carpathian Yoke
The definition of kvlt. Absolutely insane in a great way. 1995. France.
6. Nokturnal Mortum - Kolyada
Essential listening, especially the 2nd half. Folky goodness. 1997. Ukraine.
5. Windir - Saknet
Valfar (R.I.P.) was a true composer. Saknet is his finest work. 1999. Norway.
4. Nokturnal Mortum (again) Tears of Paganism/Lunar Poetry
Pure atmospheric aggressive black metal at its absolute finest. The horrible sound quality just adds to the fun. 1996. Ukraine.
3. Paysage d'Hiver - Der Weg
Listen to believe. The only black metal album as a whole that can compete with Burzum's Hvis Lyset tar Oss. Summed up best from some dude at surrealdocuments.blogspot.com
"The music of Paysage D'Hiver is used as a monomanic, minimalist musical mantra. This mantra is supposed to help the listener to visualize Alpine winter landscapes, and to experience this landscape as sublime, an aesthetic emotion of simultaneous attraction and fear, an emotion which finds its origin in Romanticism. Listening to Paysage D'Hiver is a phantasmatic practice."
2000. Switzerland.
2. Xasthur - In the Hate of Battle
The first Xasthur song I ever heard, and still by a landslide my favorite. I rarely listen to this (once every 2-3 years) to savor it all the more when I do. Depressive black metal at its best.
2002. USA.
1. Burzum - Det Some En Gang Var
No surprise here. Det Som En Gang Var will probably will be the best black metal song ever recorded, past and future. 1994. Norway.
A few notes:
For someone just entering the black metal world, many of these songs, particularly the depressive and minimalist ones, will seem like no big thing. They take many many listens to appreciate fully.
Also, no Emperor, Immortal, Mayhem, or Enslaved made the list, which even surprised me.
You probably think I'm a big nerd now, but I think you are missing out on some of the best music ever recorded.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Crazy Saturday
Extreme Strings
Thought I'd start with another strings thingy I just wrote. Not epic by any means, pretty simple and driving.
This weekend was pretty wild. Yesterday I decided to dye my hair on the spot, and right after that task was completed we went apple picking at McDougals near Sanford, Maine.
http://www.mcdougalorchards.com/lfmf.htm
We got some HUUUGE crispins, which would be a chore to eat on your own, and also some honeycrisp, macoun, cortland, and some other obscure brands I don't remember. Of course we avoided the red delicious, the image everyone envisions when picturing an apple, and surely the worst kind by far.
After we picked our apples and I was lugging this massive bag we took a little hay ride around the place. Then we got some homemade apple cinnamon donut munchkins and hot cider and ate a crispin with those at a picnic table. I thought it was so cool that this place was a short 20 minute country drive from our place, whereas in VA it would be an all-day event.
Last night we went to the abandoned Scenic Theater in Rochester, NH for a mock paranormal investigation and training session. I learned all about the different types of equipment used, how to use them and hook them up, basic electrical theory, informative tidbits on how to conduct different aspects of an investigation, etc. etc. Basically, I have the knowledge now to start buying my own equipment and conduct my own investigations!
We spent about 2 hours investigating the theater which had 4 floors. We got a spike in our EMF and K2 simultaneously in one room, but theorized it was an electrical source in the wall or from directly in the building next door. Also, in the 3rd floor theater, one girl got a bad vibe and needed to leave, but upon further investigation by the rest of us, no strange activity was found besides a slight increase in EMF in one doorway. The basement proved to be rather creepy, with a vent of doom that disappeared into darkness. No one entered that. The first floor ballroom was the main area of the venue, and was filled with lots of clutter seemingly from 50 years ago.
The likelihood is that this theater was not haunted, despite previous reports of an investigator following an EMF reading in the 2nd floor bathroom, and an extreme sensation of feeling unwanted and needing to leave a room in the basement. However, nothing happened last night, and the experience simply served as a venue to experiment and learn about the different types of equipment, as well as a way to figure out how I can become an investigator myself.
Today its rainy, and I have lots of laundry to do. Maybe I'll spice it up with some Dino Crisis later...
Thought I'd start with another strings thingy I just wrote. Not epic by any means, pretty simple and driving.
This weekend was pretty wild. Yesterday I decided to dye my hair on the spot, and right after that task was completed we went apple picking at McDougals near Sanford, Maine.
http://www.mcdougalorchards.com/lfmf.htm
We got some HUUUGE crispins, which would be a chore to eat on your own, and also some honeycrisp, macoun, cortland, and some other obscure brands I don't remember. Of course we avoided the red delicious, the image everyone envisions when picturing an apple, and surely the worst kind by far.
After we picked our apples and I was lugging this massive bag we took a little hay ride around the place. Then we got some homemade apple cinnamon donut munchkins and hot cider and ate a crispin with those at a picnic table. I thought it was so cool that this place was a short 20 minute country drive from our place, whereas in VA it would be an all-day event.
Last night we went to the abandoned Scenic Theater in Rochester, NH for a mock paranormal investigation and training session. I learned all about the different types of equipment used, how to use them and hook them up, basic electrical theory, informative tidbits on how to conduct different aspects of an investigation, etc. etc. Basically, I have the knowledge now to start buying my own equipment and conduct my own investigations!
We spent about 2 hours investigating the theater which had 4 floors. We got a spike in our EMF and K2 simultaneously in one room, but theorized it was an electrical source in the wall or from directly in the building next door. Also, in the 3rd floor theater, one girl got a bad vibe and needed to leave, but upon further investigation by the rest of us, no strange activity was found besides a slight increase in EMF in one doorway. The basement proved to be rather creepy, with a vent of doom that disappeared into darkness. No one entered that. The first floor ballroom was the main area of the venue, and was filled with lots of clutter seemingly from 50 years ago.
The likelihood is that this theater was not haunted, despite previous reports of an investigator following an EMF reading in the 2nd floor bathroom, and an extreme sensation of feeling unwanted and needing to leave a room in the basement. However, nothing happened last night, and the experience simply served as a venue to experiment and learn about the different types of equipment, as well as a way to figure out how I can become an investigator myself.
Today its rainy, and I have lots of laundry to do. Maybe I'll spice it up with some Dino Crisis later...
Saturday, September 26, 2009
New Hair Color
So I dyed my hair malaysian cherry! Its the first time I've done anything drastic since actually growing it out in the first place. It was a pretty quick decision and I didn't look back. I'm very happy with the results (good job Christine).
I think it fits the upcoming fall atmosphere pretty well.
The bball hoop there is the one I get to play at, double rims and all hehe.
Tonight I have my first paranormal investigation in an abandoned theater in Rochester, NH. I'll learn all about the ghost gadgets so I can have investigations on my own eventually! I'll post all about it soon.
I think it fits the upcoming fall atmosphere pretty well.
The bball hoop there is the one I get to play at, double rims and all hehe.
Tonight I have my first paranormal investigation in an abandoned theater in Rochester, NH. I'll learn all about the ghost gadgets so I can have investigations on my own eventually! I'll post all about it soon.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Better MIDI
So I just download a direct Midi to Mp3 converter because doing it through I-Tunes was lame and crashing my computer half the time. I am really happy too because this converter makes the MIDI quality better than it was before... I guess it uses a better sound engine (well it couldn't get any worse....)
I've reuploaded the new slightly better sounding version if Bambi and a new one Nightmare.
Bambi
Nightmare
Enjoy! :O)
I've reuploaded the new slightly better sounding version if Bambi and a new one Nightmare.
Bambi
Nightmare
Enjoy! :O)
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