Sunday, January 31, 2010

Winter Life

I have been pretty busy the past few months. Still working at the same place in Maine and I am on a waiting list for the one in NH, but there is no indication of when I will start. The new album was released and the response has been pretty good overall... still have a lot of copies left though. One forum has a few people that hate us and our music, and make constant jokes like comparing us to ICP, but I understand the concept definitely won't appeal to everyone, and some people can't get by that to give the music the proper chance. I was just surprised at how vicious they were. And how about some actual constructive criticism...? Others like or love it, and I am personally happy at how the album came out considering the circumstances. I'd say I am 90% satisfied with it. Sometimes I feel like its all a waste of time but then I need to figure out why I'm doing it in the first place. Its pretty weird because I feel like an outcast within the outcasts. What I am doing within the subgenre is not normal so its been very difficult finding an audience... its just a few people here and there that are into it. I would say its pretty lonely though. Music is my main hobby but it in a sense hides in the dark because I don't play live and the music is not accessible to the average listener. I just have to remember I made it first and foremost for myself. I just enjoy it a lot and I want to derive satisfaction out of knowing others do as well... maybe that's selfish? I have a great desire to share what I have created with others and feel stinted because I feel like its so difficult getting people to listen to it in the first place because it isn't normal. As a musician I wouldn't have this problem if I were a singer-songwriter so even within musicians I guess not all would really understand what I am getting at. I am so thankful for those that do give it a chance and I can only hope they are enjoying it. I probably am just investing too much of my emotional energy in the wrong places.

There have been a lot of events lately, lots of parties and get-togethers which have been fun, but I am really worn out today. I got sick last night so I guess today is recovery day. I was sick for a while a few weeks ago and missed 3 days of work because of some stomach infection which was terrible financially but at least it didn't last longer. There hasn't been much snow this winter which I guess is fine because my car isn't so good in it.

I have been watching a lot of basketball and of course the nfl playoffs. My suns aren't doing so well, but I'm not that surprised. My fantasy team is pretty average in our league, but Gerald Wallace has been playing ridiculously well lately which has helped. Not so sure about Chris Paul as my first pick, and honestly Rondo who I also have has probably had a better season.

I saw a black metal documentary in Portland on thursday night which was pretty interesting, at least especially the sections with Varg and Fenriz. I feel like it could have been better but I am glad I saw it, especially since its not on dvd. I saw it at SPACE, some art place in downtown Portland. Parking was awful there and I didn't know my way around at all with all the one way streets, not to mention I've never been to Portland in my life, but it all worked out. I left Portland at 930 and had to commute all the way back to NH, go to bed, wake up and drive all the back north of Portland to work on friday... yikes.... certainly won't be doing that very often.

I am glad today is the last day of January. Its one of my least favorite months for a lot of reasons... ick I'm watching tv and the commercial with the guy playing the guitar singing is sooo obnoxious. The stereotypical guy like him upsets me because of how loved he is. Perhaps I overestimate the appeal... blergh.

Well once again I guess this has been kind of a melodramatic blog post so I'll end it with something that can only be taken objectively, some random useless lists.

NBA teams I love:


NBA teams I like:

Milwaukee, Atlanta, Houston, Denver

NBA teams I don't particularly like:

Boston, Dallas

NBA teams I hate:

San Antonio, LA Lakers