Winter

It's been a long time since I've posted anything and today seemed like an appropriate day, not only because I actually have time, but because its the first day of winter, and also the darkest day of the year! Anyway, not a whole lot has changed since November. I still work at the same place and I got extended so it looks like I will be until this other job comes through, which is hopefully soon because it is way closer to home and pays a little more. Nonetheless, I'm thankful to have anything in the first place.

Right now I'm sitting in Lexington, MA at Christine's aunts place waiting to go out and celebrate Christmas with her grandma who won't be able to make it to VA this year. Tomorrow morning we leave for VA where I'll stay until the 29th when we will leave for NY and spend a few days finishing up the Bone Fragments album and also celebrate New Years Eve. So yea, 2 week vacation pretty much! Kinda exciting because I never expected to see that again for quite some time now that I'm done with school, unless of course I become unemployed...

Music-wise lets see... Very excited about this new release as I feel it demolishes the demo in every way. There have been four days of recording thus far, in two different sessions in November. It was quite stressful to say the least! My style of writing music tends to create a lush texture of guitar harmonies.... it works both in a symphonic and atmospheric aspect depending on the context... but yea many guitar parts, and recording them all in such a short time took its toll. I was so worried that we would not finish what we needed to especially since we are recording in NY and not NH. These last two days will be vocals, keys, and mixing, which is a squeeze but I am very happy everything else is complete. My brother Phil was a monster on the drums and whipped his lines out in no time at all. I was very impressed considering all he had to learn from was MIDI on a cd I gave him, not to mention the complex song structures. I had basic drum rhythms written but I told him to do his thing and he definitely did! Christine also did her bass lines and additional guitars faster than I expected, and thankfully too since it took me such a long time to get all of mine done! One song, the finale, took over 4 hours just for me to lay down the guitars. Ridiculous, and I have learned a lot about how I write music to make the recording process more efficient and easier in the future through this experience. However, it has been a lot of fun seeing the songs transform from simple MIDI video game sounding to their final form.

I haven't been listening to much new music lately, just a lot of Paysage d'Hiver and Blue Stone every now and then. I have listened to many cds I used to spin frequently, and to my dismay do not like them as much as I used to. But, I can't say I'm surprised. I am just wondering what is next for me in the music world, as more and more it seems lately there is not much that I get really excited about anymore.

Religion wise, still trying to sort things out, as I am sure will be a long process. I have been reading Orthodoxy which is very interesting and I have been marking all the things that struck me so I will have a list when I'm done.

This past week it got down to 2 degrees one morning, which is the coldest I have experienced. Not so bad though, as basically I just walk to my car, de-ice it, and walk into work. And I have this awesome L.L. Bean jacket so that keeps me nice 'n' toasty. I also drove down the big giant hill with ice on it a few times and luckily I am still alive! One day I had to turn around on my way to work though because it was snowing very heavily and the roads were not being plowed yet. It was nice to have a wednesday off though.

I guess that's it for now. I'm excited about a lot of things right now, especially seeing people in VA. Give me a ring if you want to chill.

Bone Fragments Circus Maleficus

Bone Fragments first-ever release, the demo "Circus Maleficus." Recorded and released in Fall '08. Songs composed in 2006-2007. Self released in limited edition (25).

Recording for the full-length has begun and it will be released around February 2010.

Download

Why I'm Jaded

At some point in your life you might become jaded for one reason or another. Here, I have compiled a list of the reasons why I consider myself jaded or discouraged and a tad misanthropic. On that note, warning, this post will be negative and perhaps a tad offensive. If you don't feel like confronting the unfortunate truth, it would be best to stop reading; but if you would like to take a dip in my daily despair by all means continue on. You will understand why a child filled with excitement and emotion eroded to a numb creature whose flame burned out.

Throughout the day, I have a lot of time to think due to my mindless job and two hours in the car commuting. I feel these observations stem from a number of different sources. One, and most importantly, personal experience. Two, being conditioned to how humans interact with each other. Three, my own undeniable sense of entitlement, a generation problem gone rather unrecognized. Four, my sheltered upbringing and general naivety about how the world turns, AKA 2.3 kid surburban middle-class Catholic school educated.

In addition, I think most people come to these conclusions much earlier than I did, like in their teenage years. But due to my sloth-like development for reasons unmentioned, my teenage melodramatic angst is coming out in my early twenties instead. And so here we go, a select list of Why I'm Jaded.

1. Because talking beats walking
2. Because reading the book won't get you saved
3. Because being the sweetest never gets you anywhere with girls (unless they have low self-esteem)
4. Because getting the grades and the awards won't get you the paycheck
5. Because whats cool with the herd gets you heard
6. Because looks kill brains
7. Because fear trumps love
8. Because being a conniving bitch makes you rich
9. Because being an ass gets you ass
10. Because less is more and more is less

Cynical indeed.

You could argue that these points are only negative if all you care about are money, girls (love), and Heaven. Again, the unfortunate truth is that these are some of the most major motivating forces humans face. Since I don't care much about any of these anymore, you can imagine my lack of motivation.

Blergh, I still care about a lot of other things though, like family, friends, art/music, and self-exploration. At some point I hope to break out of this dark shell and confront the world with a discovered zeal. But for now, I will just keep existing.

5 Best Black Metal Albums

After sifting through hundreds of black metal cds for years, these are the essential five. That's it, and now I'm pretty much done and bored with Black Metal. I'm sure I'll find out if something as good comes out.

Bone Fragments will always be very much alive and will never be limited.

Other essential albums of black/dark metal

Agalloch - The Mantle
Bethlehem - S.U.I.Z.I.D
Darkthrone - A Blaze in the Northern Sky
Dissection - Storm of the Light's Bane
Katatonia - Brave Murder Day
Nokturnal Mortum - Goat Horns
October Tide - Rain Without End
Opeth - Blackwater Park
Summoning - Stronghold
Ulver - Bergtatt
Walknut - Graveforests and their Shadows
Windir - Arntor

Suffering and Happiness

I've been thinking a lot on the Catholic perspectives on happiness and suffering lately but I am not completely certain they align with the dogma. Take this post with a grain of salt, as the Catholic faith in general expects us to be more than human, and indeed their utopia is not possible on this earth, at least until the second coming when most of us are done away with. I have compiled this thought process from all I have taken in through growing up in a strict Catholic environment.

It starts with this basic thought, one that most non-sadistic people in the world have had, that "everyone would be happy and not suffering." Sounds great right? Wow, I have compassion and feelings, I don't want others to be in pain! Whoopdidoo. Its a great feeling and belief, and I hope everyone has it, but there is another ingredient that is often forgotten or unknown, and without acknowledging it, one may actually be missing an important facet of understanding existence itself according to Christianity.

Basically, God wants us to be in Heaven.... yet, we must suffer to get there! Why?.. because otherwise we wouldn't have achieved anything or have anything to appreciate. If bliss was all we knew, it would not be bliss... it would be normal. If we began as gods, we would not be gods. You may be confused. I agree, this is not an easy matter to understand.

Since humans must suffer to reach Heaven, then should we desire them to suffer? No... but we should acknowledge it is an essential step in one's spiritual journey and pray for them. Through only suffering can one become greater than before. There are many lessons to be learned through suffering, and very few through happiness.

To desire happiness is a basic human instinct. To escape suffering is also a basic human instinct. Yet, humans are animals. God wants us to be more than animals. We must deny our instincts, we must take the path of greatest resistance, we must defy nature itself. This lesson applies to many sins, and a great example would be controlling the natural sexual urge. We must be more than bonobos, as fun as being a bonobo sounds. Get it?

I feel like this is pretty spot on teaching of the Catholic faith. But I fail as a human according to these standards. Even though I understand the aforementioned teachings, as well as the laws of morality, I cannot get myself to practice them to the extent necessary to achieve eternal life according to the Christian standard. I am just a human, an animal, nothing more, and perhaps I may never be.

Please correct me if I am wrong.

Fall!

Somersworth had its annual Pumpkin festival today so Christine and I went for a while and took a ride with the horses and watched people smash pumpkins with a giant catapult. Pretty fun and different! The temperature is perfect today and tomorrow we plan to go hiking in the White Mountains to make sunday not feel like a sunday. Here are some pictures of the scenery.

Notice anything on Christine? The last three are of the cemetery in our yard. There's some abandoned building with a creepy Mary altar outside it. I love how the trees have grown into some of the graves.

Christine and I are hard at work preparing to record the full-length Bone Fragments cd in early November. We are extremely excited about it and the current atmosphere is a good match for the music. Today may be good lyric writing day...

My favorite 10 Black Sabbath Songs

The band that opened the gateway for me. Their debut was the first metal album I ever acquired, and naturally it was on cassette. I think my picks are a tad untraditional, but Sabbath is one of those great bands where you must delve past the greatest hits and best known to find the gems.


10. Behind the Wall of Sleep


9. Killing Yourself to Live


8. Hand of Doom


7. Cornucopia



















6. After Forever



















5. The Wizard




















4. Megalomania


3. Thrill of it All


2. Black Sabbath




















1. The Writ