Bone Fragments Circus Maleficus

Bone Fragments first-ever release, the demo "Circus Maleficus." Recorded and released in Fall '08. Songs composed in 2006-2007. Self released in limited edition (25).

Recording for the full-length has begun and it will be released around February 2010.

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Why I'm Jaded

At some point in your life you might become jaded for one reason or another. Here, I have compiled a list of the reasons why I consider myself jaded or discouraged and a tad misanthropic. On that note, warning, this post will be negative and perhaps a tad offensive. If you don't feel like confronting the unfortunate truth, it would be best to stop reading; but if you would like to take a dip in my daily despair by all means continue on. You will understand why a child filled with excitement and emotion eroded to a numb creature whose flame burned out.

Throughout the day, I have a lot of time to think due to my mindless job and two hours in the car commuting. I feel these observations stem from a number of different sources. One, and most importantly, personal experience. Two, being conditioned to how humans interact with each other. Three, my own undeniable sense of entitlement, a generation problem gone rather unrecognized. Four, my sheltered upbringing and general naivety about how the world turns, AKA 2.3 kid surburban middle-class Catholic school educated.

In addition, I think most people come to these conclusions much earlier than I did, like in their teenage years. But due to my sloth-like development for reasons unmentioned, my teenage melodramatic angst is coming out in my early twenties instead. And so here we go, a select list of Why I'm Jaded.

1. Because talking beats walking
2. Because reading the book won't get you saved
3. Because being the sweetest never gets you anywhere with girls (unless they have low self-esteem)
4. Because getting the grades and the awards won't get you the paycheck
5. Because whats cool with the herd gets you heard
6. Because looks kill brains
7. Because fear trumps love
8. Because being a conniving bitch makes you rich
9. Because being an ass gets you ass
10. Because less is more and more is less

Cynical indeed.

You could argue that these points are only negative if all you care about are money, girls (love), and Heaven. Again, the unfortunate truth is that these are some of the most major motivating forces humans face. Since I don't care much about any of these anymore, you can imagine my lack of motivation.

Blergh, I still care about a lot of other things though, like family, friends, art/music, and self-exploration. At some point I hope to break out of this dark shell and confront the world with a discovered zeal. But for now, I will just keep existing.

5 Best Black Metal Albums

After sifting through hundreds of black metal cds for years, these are the essential five. That's it, and now I'm pretty much done and bored with Black Metal. I'm sure I'll find out if something as good comes out.

Bone Fragments will always be very much alive and will never be limited.

Other essential albums of black/dark metal

Agalloch - The Mantle
Bethlehem - S.U.I.Z.I.D
Darkthrone - A Blaze in the Northern Sky
Dissection - Storm of the Light's Bane
Katatonia - Brave Murder Day
Nokturnal Mortum - Goat Horns
October Tide - Rain Without End
Opeth - Blackwater Park
Summoning - Stronghold
Ulver - Bergtatt
Walknut - Graveforests and their Shadows
Windir - Arntor

Suffering and Happiness

I've been thinking a lot on the Catholic perspectives on happiness and suffering lately but I am not completely certain they align with the dogma. Take this post with a grain of salt, as the Catholic faith in general expects us to be more than human, and indeed their utopia is not possible on this earth, at least until the second coming when most of us are done away with. I have compiled this thought process from all I have taken in through growing up in a strict Catholic environment.

It starts with this basic thought, one that most non-sadistic people in the world have had, that "everyone would be happy and not suffering." Sounds great right? Wow, I have compassion and feelings, I don't want others to be in pain! Whoopdidoo. Its a great feeling and belief, and I hope everyone has it, but there is another ingredient that is often forgotten or unknown, and without acknowledging it, one may actually be missing an important facet of understanding existence itself according to Christianity.

Basically, God wants us to be in Heaven.... yet, we must suffer to get there! Why?.. because otherwise we wouldn't have achieved anything or have anything to appreciate. If bliss was all we knew, it would not be bliss... it would be normal. If we began as gods, we would not be gods. You may be confused. I agree, this is not an easy matter to understand.

Since humans must suffer to reach Heaven, then should we desire them to suffer? No... but we should acknowledge it is an essential step in one's spiritual journey and pray for them. Through only suffering can one become greater than before. There are many lessons to be learned through suffering, and very few through happiness.

To desire happiness is a basic human instinct. To escape suffering is also a basic human instinct. Yet, humans are animals. God wants us to be more than animals. We must deny our instincts, we must take the path of greatest resistance, we must defy nature itself. This lesson applies to many sins, and a great example would be controlling the natural sexual urge. We must be more than bonobos, as fun as being a bonobo sounds. Get it?

I feel like this is pretty spot on teaching of the Catholic faith. But I fail as a human according to these standards. Even though I understand the aforementioned teachings, as well as the laws of morality, I cannot get myself to practice them to the extent necessary to achieve eternal life according to the Christian standard. I am just a human, an animal, nothing more, and perhaps I may never be.

Please correct me if I am wrong.

Fall!

Somersworth had its annual Pumpkin festival today so Christine and I went for a while and took a ride with the horses and watched people smash pumpkins with a giant catapult. Pretty fun and different! The temperature is perfect today and tomorrow we plan to go hiking in the White Mountains to make sunday not feel like a sunday. Here are some pictures of the scenery.

Notice anything on Christine? The last three are of the cemetery in our yard. There's some abandoned building with a creepy Mary altar outside it. I love how the trees have grown into some of the graves.

Christine and I are hard at work preparing to record the full-length Bone Fragments cd in early November. We are extremely excited about it and the current atmosphere is a good match for the music. Today may be good lyric writing day...

My favorite 10 Black Sabbath Songs

The band that opened the gateway for me. Their debut was the first metal album I ever acquired, and naturally it was on cassette. I think my picks are a tad untraditional, but Sabbath is one of those great bands where you must delve past the greatest hits and best known to find the gems.


10. Behind the Wall of Sleep


9. Killing Yourself to Live


8. Hand of Doom


7. Cornucopia



















6. After Forever



















5. The Wizard




















4. Megalomania


3. Thrill of it All


2. Black Sabbath




















1. The Writ

My 20 Favorite Black Metal Songs (in order)

I was pretty excited about making this list, and even though I'm sure I will want to alter it, this is as accurate as I can be presently. This list is strictly black metal, no fringe bands (Bethlehem, Katatonia, etc.) are included.

20. Graveland - In the Northern Carpathians



A cheesy yet entertaining intro full church bells and crying babies begins this epic. Solid, raw, and classic, very atmospheric. 1994. Poland.

19. Velvet Cacoon - Avalon Polo




Publicity stunts aside, Velvet Cacoon created some serious atmospheric drone on Genevieve, and this track takes the cake for me. 2004. USA.

18. Summoning - The Rotting Horse on the Deadly Ground


My favorite by Summoning, total Tolkien worship, but great melodies abound. 1999. Austria.


17. Gorgorth - Gorgoroth



The intro is what makes this song so great. Layer upon layer of harmonized guitar trem-picked goodness. 1996. Norway.


16. Dimmu Borgir - Stormblast


Before they got terrible, Dimmu Borgir released an atmospheric masterpiece with the outro of this particular song being the climax. 1996. Norway.


15. Cradle of Filth - A Gothic Romance (Red Roses for the Devil's Whore)



Before you decide this list has lost all credibility, put your bias against this band aside and listen to this. Vampyric atmosphere at its best. 1996. England.


14. Walknut - Grim Woods



Not very well known. Atmospheric, hypnotic. 2007. Russia.


13. Ulver - Capitel II: Soelen gaaer bag aase need



Everything about this song is pretty much perfect, especially the chorus section with the clean vocals. 1995. Norway.


12. Blut Aus Nord - From Hlidskjalf



Icy and otherworldly. 1995. France.


11. Satyricon - King of the Shadowthrone



I could have just as easily picked Dominions of Satyricon, but decided on this one instead. Classic 2nd wave from Norway. 1994.


10. Darkthrone - A Blaze in the Northern Sky


The aggression to this album is insane, and something appalling was brewing within these guys back in the day. 1992. Norway.


9. Forest Silence - I Feel the Claws of Darkness



The least well known on this list (shame). Thick synth-laden atmosphere with razor riffage. 2002. Hungary.


8. Drudkh - The Eternal Turn of the Wheel



Many would pick False Dawn instead, but I prefer this one. Hypnotic and repetitive with brilliant harmonized riffs, just how I like it. Too bad this band only has 2 solid albums before becoming mediocre. 2002. Ukraine.


7. Vlad Tepes - Under the Carpathian Yoke



The definition of kvlt. Absolutely insane in a great way. 1995. France.


6. Nokturnal Mortum - Kolyada



Essential listening, especially the 2nd half. Folky goodness. 1997. Ukraine.


5. Windir - Saknet



Valfar (R.I.P.) was a true composer. Saknet is his finest work. 1999. Norway.


4. Nokturnal Mortum (again) Tears of Paganism/Lunar Poetry



Pure atmospheric aggressive black metal at its absolute finest. The horrible sound quality just adds to the fun. 1996. Ukraine.


3. Paysage d'Hiver - Der Weg




Listen to believe. The only black metal album as a whole that can compete with Burzum's Hvis Lyset tar Oss. Summed up best from some dude at surrealdocuments.blogspot.com

"The music of Paysage D'Hiver is used as a monomanic, minimalist musical mantra. This mantra is supposed to help the listener to visualize Alpine winter landscapes, and to experience this landscape as sublime, an aesthetic emotion of simultaneous attraction and fear, an emotion which finds its origin in Romanticism. Listening to Paysage D'Hiver is a phantasmatic practice."

2000. Switzerland.

2. Xasthur - In the Hate of Battle



The first Xasthur song I ever heard, and still by a landslide my favorite. I rarely listen to this (once every 2-3 years) to savor it all the more when I do. Depressive black metal at its best.

2002. USA.

1. Burzum - Det Some En Gang Var



No surprise here. Det Som En Gang Var will probably will be the best black metal song ever recorded, past and future. 1994. Norway.

A few notes:

For someone just entering the black metal world, many of these songs, particularly the depressive and minimalist ones, will seem like no big thing. They take many many listens to appreciate fully.

Also, no Emperor, Immortal, Mayhem, or Enslaved made the list, which even surprised me.

You probably think I'm a big nerd now, but I think you are missing out on some of the best music ever recorded.